discontent faith 

You wanna know where my heart was yesterday?


You want to know where it is today?


What happened, you might ask. Well I’ll tell you what happened…


Jesus came in the midst of my complacent, organized, Christian life and stirred up a whirlwind of passionate revival that my heart has been craving for a long time.

I told a friend at dinner that I had been feeling like I wasn’t growing much in my faith currently, and I wanted to change that but I didn’t know how. I had been feeling discontent and discouraged, longing to find passion in my relationship with God but lacking in knowing how to do it.

As I went in to the Bethel concert last night, I prayed that God would move in my life.

That’s when Jesus comes in. Less than an hour later, I found myself lost in the presence of worshipping my God, more than I ever had before in my life. I no longer held my hand in the air half-heartedly singing the lyrics to Jesus but raised my hands in the air confidently, fully embracing the feeling of getting lost in His presence and declaring praise to Him.

I no longer felt like I was singing praise songs to a distant God but that I was worshipping Him as he wrapped his arms around me. I felt the presence of The Holy Spirit in the room and our spirits were not separate but intertwined.

I no longer looked around me seeing how others were worshipping and basing mine off of them but fully embraced my own relationship with God and worshipped him as he called me to: in FREEDOM.

I experienced true freedom in worship for the first time in my life last night. Maybe it was because I was in a room full of almost all strangers. Maybe it was a one-time thing. Or MAYBE God was teaching me that I no longer need to be afraid to worship him with everything in me.

That means I don’t need to be afraid to live out my faith passionately and neither do you. Yes, I’m at a Christian school, but no, everyone does not live the life that Jesus demanded for his disciples. My school teaches me Christian doctrine and gives me opportunities to hear great speakers, but I have to intentionally choose to pursue God. I have to be willing to be different and set apart for the special purpose of making his name known.

Bethel ended with a song that spoke so much truth into me and shaped me into who I am during my Guatemala trip. It’s called “No Longer Slaves,” and it says,

I’m no longer a slave to fear, I am a child of God.

You split the sea so I could walk right through it. You drowned my fears in perfect love. You rescued me so I can STAND AND SING I am a child of God.

What a beautiful declaration of what God has done for us and what we can and should do in thankfulness for the love he poured out on us. He has called us to stand and sing because he loves us. Because he saves us and brings us from death to life.

I pray that you would be able to find freedom in your worship of God and that you would walk in grace and truth today.



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