insecurity /insəˈkyo͝orədē/ (n.) a lack of self-confidence; feeling doubt about your worth, value, and place in this world; feeling like you are not enough
Have you ever struggled with insecurity?
I am a people pleaser 110%, and I struggle to base my identity in God and not on what people think of me. This morning, church was cancelled because we have 20 some inches of snow on the ground, so I watched one of my favorite pastors, Levi Lusko, live online, and his talk about insecurity convicted me, so I thought I would share about it with y’all.
We weren’t born insecure. Think about yourself as a kid. I didn’t have a care in the world. I didn’t worry about not being pretty enough or not having enough friends or “followers” on social media. Insecurity is something that this world ingrains in us.
When did you start to feel insecure in who you were?
For me, it was middle school. The pressure to fit in was so great, and those were the days when I was an awkward, chubby little girl who wanted to be friends with the “cool” kids. In seventh grade, I decided I needed to change what I looked like to fit in. Besides buying over-priced graphic tees from Aeropostale and knock-off Ugg boots, I decided I needed to lose weight. I counted my calories obsessively. Not just for a few weeks, but for over a year. I wasn’t anorexic or bulimic, but I was very careful about what I ate and lost all my baby fat very quickly. Silly little middle school me basing my worth on what I looked like to the world. Did those “popular kids” become my best friends? No, and I am more than thankful for that.
But that also wasn’t the end of my struggle with insecurity. Even though I become less self-conscious about my body as I left middle school, high school brought on different types of insecurity. I still wanted to fit in, and fitting in for us freshmen meant having a great boyfriend. I jumped into a serious relationship the first semester of my freshman year. Little did I know that I wasn’t ready for that. Thank goodness it was with a good, Christian boy, but I found my identity in him for an entire year.
The summer after 9th grade was what changed everything. I dedicated my life to God. I found Jesus. I started to live for him, lead Bible study lessons, and spend more time with him. My relationship with my boyfriend fell apart, and I haven’t had a serious relationship since because I have learned that I need to have a firm identity in God before I get in another serious relationship. As I have grown closer to God, I have learned to stop basing my worth on other people and what they think of me because I AM A CHILD OF GOD, and that is all I need to be.
I wish I could say that I have conquered insecurity, but I haven’t. I still occasionally struggle with insecurity in not measuring up to the world’s standards. but my identity is rooted in Christ, and that is what matters.
What or who do you find your identity in?
If you base your identity on anything but God, I promise you that you will wake up one day discontent and insecure. Because everything in this world leaves us feeling empty and wanting more. Levi Lusko said, “Whatever gives you validation must keep supplying affirmation.” There are people who will affirm us. We can find worth in our money, clothes, cars, anything. And it sure feels good when it happens, but it leaves you feeling empty when you wake up the next morning. We need to get our validation from someone who will give us affirmation even on our ugliest days, and the only person who will do that is Jesus.
Will you pray with me?
Jesus, please help us to let go of any insecurities that we might be holding on to. Whether we struggle with weight or having friends or being a good mom or student or anything else, help us to stop struggling and rest in the identity you have already given us. We are chosen by you, and you love us even when we don’t measure up to the world’s standards. Thank you so much for allowing us to have a relationship with you and for saving us. Amen.
This song is really uplifting and proclaims the freedom we have by finding our identity in Christ. Give it a listen if you have time, and have an amazing week!